Jason, Allie, Millie, Mac, Lulu & Rock

The honest truth is...being a mom is hard, I'm not talking about a little hard. I'm talking I need a shrink most days, can't do this again tomorrow! "Why does anyone ever have kids?", kind of hard. It changes you in ways you never would have thought possible in a million years, like I haven't looked in the mirror all day, I have baby pooh on my pants. pee on my shirt and spit-up in my hair and I haven't even had the thought of getting in the shower cross my mind. 

I had four kids in four years, and honestly there have been times where I've felt like I was drowning, that my day to day craziness was more then I could handle.

BUT THE GOOD NEWS FOR THOSE WHO MAY BE FEELING THE WAY I'VE FELT...

It's getting better! I'm feeling some relief. It's come as they've gotten a little bit older, and  I feel like I'm able to breathe again. I look at my kids lately and think "this is too easy" And it's not really that it's easy it's just that I can handle it! 

I love my little family more then anything in the entire world, and I've never loved so fiercely, or intensely as I love them. I'm so glad no one ever told me how hard it would be because It is also the best thing I've ever done. And it is what we are sent here on earth to do. we aren't suppose to be selfish, we are suppose to be selfless. And as mothers that is definitely what we have to be!

But while we are being SELFLESS Lets not forget who we are in these crazy years with young children. I'm going to remember who Allie is, I'm going to apply the lip gloss I love while sitting home with my kids. I'm going to wear my rufflie apron and bunny slippers and dance around the kitchen like a manic with my kids singing at the top of my lungs...Because when I'm happy I'm a better mom and they are happier better kiddos.

I'm going to remember that these years are fleeting and to try so hard to be joyful,

 and soak in all the little special things.

 And I am going to forgive my self when I completely fail. Because there are those times..few and far between, that I don't fail...The times that I'm a really, really good mom.